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Thursday, July 24, 2008

From The Inbox

I get a lot of email requests to review books. Sometimes the publicist or author has taken time to actually look at my blog and see what sort of books and topics I'm interested in, other times they are just generic mass emails. For example, these two email requests this morning.

New book: So Why Have You Never Been Married?

In 1980, 6% of men ages 40-44 were never married. Today that number has jumped to 17%. Men are delaying or avoiding marriage like never before and the question is, why? A new book sheds light on what these bachelors are thinking and the influences that have caused these men to remain single.

So why do men remain bachelors into their 40s and beyond, some forever? Is there something wrong with them for failing to wed --or with society for expecting them to be married by now? Is their decision out of choice? Are they happy? We are privy to answers to these crucial questions with an enlightening new book, So Why Have You Never Been Married: Ten Insights Into Why He Hasn't Wed, by a 49-year-old never-married man, Carl Weisman, MS...

I can tell you that this request was sent to me generically, because you who actually read my blog will already know that I'm married. Happily so. So sorry, but my interest in reading about why males in their forties have never married is pretty much zilch.

On to the next one.


Why are never-married, divorced and widowed women opting to stay single today? Why Women Shouldn't Marry: Being Single By Choice is an important new book by mother-daughter co-authors Cynthia S. and Hillary B. Smith that points out the pitfalls of marriage and remarriage, reveals statistics that back up the current trend, and recounts the experiences of women of all ages who no longer feel marriage is the only way to go.

In this update of her highly successful book written twenty years ago that continues to bring her letters from grateful women who found the book empowered them to eschew marriage, Cynthia and her daughter did extensive research on the current state of marriage that shows it to be a weakened institution that is no longer a societal necessity for women. The book features interviews with young women who no longer need the derivative prestige of a "good marriage" since they themselves are doctors, lawyers and successful career professionals. Widows who say they "never again want to wash another man's socks" describe how they are enjoying new lives of unprecedented independence that includes the freedom to openly have lovers - without the children's disapproval! The book warns older widows that remarrying men of advanced years means the job title may be nurse. Divorced women describe the problems of remarrying when you have kids and why you should think twice before bringing a stepfather into your home.

"No Way Wedlock" describes women who refuse to marry the men they live with. "They Wanted to Marry In The Worst Way - and Did" tells about the sad lives of women who mistakenly married out of desperation. "Parent Power" describes what happens to women who allow their parents to pressure them into wrong liaisons. "Closet Singles" is about women who only go out with unmarriageable men because they truly do not want permanent attachments. "The Motherhood Option: Non-Mothers and Single Mothers" describes the new-morality of not marrying the dads, and destroys the myth that all women have the maternal instinct. The book contains handy Guides and Checklists like The WHY YOU SHOULDN'T MARRY GUIDE that outlines the many wrong reasons to marry. THE SOUL MATE CHECKLIST gives the unrealistic qualifications that many young women today claim to be seeking. And then there is the handy DON'T-BREAK-YOUR-HEART CHECKLIST OF WHAT-NOT-TO-EXPECT-FROM-MEN'.

Why Women Shouldn't Marry: Being Single By Choice is filled with case histories of women of all ages who have chosen not to marry and manage to live happily ever after. It's an important book that documents the huge changes in attitudes to marriage and reassures women that today they have the option to stay single and still live a fulfilling happy and perfectly normal life.

Just the book blurb had my hackles up. Are we seriously still in the 1950's? Where the housewife ironed her husband's shirts and vacuumed simultaneously while wearing her pearls? The trend today is to marry later and with divorce rates as high as they currently are, more and more people are living as singles anyhow. Do we really need a self help book to encourage a trend already so prevalent in society?

Anyhow. Again, happily married. Not really my style. If you happened to be interested in either of those books and you have a blog, go ahead and email me. I'll forward your information.

So every once in a while, through hit or miss, I do get a few requests for books I'm really interested in. In fact, my stack of review books to be read has pretty much overtaken my coffee table. This picture shows you some recent acquisitions.

I've actually finished Marie-Therese, but the rest are still waiting. Maybe one of these will strike my fancy today for reading material. I need something lightweight that will compete with my desire to be completely lazy.


Alice Teh said...

Same here, Kim. I've grown to enjoy lightweight reading.

I used to think fiction is a waste of time and focused solely on non-fiction. A lot of good came out of it and now I'm branching out to stories and novels while still maintaining the reading of non-fiction ones.

Trish said...

Ha ha! I'm hoping to be completely lazy this weekend (especially in terms of my reading material!). I've been hearing a lot about Comfort Food lately--I look forward to your thoughts.

Mrs S said...

I didn't like the sound of those marriage books either - thought you should perhaps point out that those are from a mailing list that you have to sign up for (well mine were anyway and they're the same emails) rather than publicists not taking the time to find out more about us.

I do like ARCs though - free books what more can you ask for - and i've been sent some great ones I would never have bought by myself.

Melody said...

I've been receiving a few of those too, Kim! I don't reply to all, and only pick those books that really interest me. I've too many books to be read in my pile!

trish said...

I got those same offers...All I could do was laugh. :-)

Andi said...

I think I got those very same generic e-mails! Deleted without reading. Ha!

Kim L said...

alice-wow, I don't think I could ever focus on just non-fiction. I like non-fic, but there's something about fiction that is just fun. I know that I've branched out a lot in my reading since I started blogging.

trish-yeah, that one sounds really good... why haven't I started it yet??

mrs s-true, and I do like free books.

melody-same problem here!

trish-you know, sometimes, what else can you do?

andi-I normally delete the ones I'm not interested in, but I thought it was funny I got two request about books related to marriage or lack thereof.

Stephanie said...

Oh, I didn't get offers for those books, but do get a few generic ones. You can tell if they "really enjoy your blog" pretty easily.